27 Nov Learn How to Get a Child to Open Up Now!
In this digital age, more and more parents are having trouble with how to get a child to open up to them. Whether this is the effect of digital devices, social media or the society we have right now, we don’t really know. But no matter what the reason is, it is important for parents to communicate effectively with children. This will help them become the best persons they can be.
If your little ones clam up when you talk to them, they may just be shy. But don’t ignore the possibility that there is a serious reason for this.
Read on and find out how to reconnect with your child with the tips herein.
Be available and listen when your child needs to talk to you. Pay attention to conversation openers that your children give. How you respond to this lets your tot know whether he can trust you to be there when he needs someone to talk to or not. So, try to stop what you are doing and give him your time. It can be difficult, especially if you have a very important task at hand, but it will build the closeness with your child that you didn’t know you need. Keep in mind that not being there when your child needs someone to talk to will push him to find other people who are available.
Ask more specific, engaging questions. Don’t let your child feel defensive with judgmental questions, such as those starting with “why”. When they feel like they have to explain themselves, they will eventually stop talking to you just to get out of the situation. Remember to go beyond the usual “how was your day?” and try to be a little more specific. Something like “what did you and your classmates talk about during lunch today?” will probably give you a longer answer and will start a conversation.
Try not to give suggestions or advice immediately after your child starts venting out a problem. Let the little one express himself and give him a chance to find solutions on his own. This helps children develop confidence. If you are always jumping in with answers, your child might feel useless and won’t look for you if he has a problem again.
Give each of your children a special alone time everyday so you can talk with each other. As short as 10 minutes alone will give you time to connect deeper with each of them and will give your children an opportunity to express their emotions without any coaxing because they know you will always be available for them. They will also be more expressive with you when none of their siblings are around, or if it’s just the both of you. Turn this into a daily routine.
Control your anger with every hurtful or blank response from your children. You will not always get the response you want. If they feel vindictive about something and lash out at you, don’t get back at them with anger. Instead, let them know you are hurt and give them time to reflect on their actions. When the storm has passed, reconnect with your child and tell him you just want to talk but you were hurt with his actions. This lets your child know that you love him and want to be close.
Act in an inviting manner when you talk to your kids. If they don’t give an immediate response, step back and see the whole picture. Don’t be quick to get in their face just so you can get an answer. When you give them time, you may realize that they have a lot on their mind or are struggling with hormones and other stuff kids normally go through. When you’re done checking them out, try to connect with them again but in a friendlier, more inviting way.
Always be available. This can be quite hard, especially if your child wants to talk to you in the middle of the night because a “monster is under the bed” or if your kid just had a fight with her BFF. If this happens, be positive and relish in the fact that your children come to you when they need someone. It won’t always happen, so bear with it. It will make your children know that they can trust you and that you will always be there for them.